Day Twelve

Scale read 151.2 this morning for a gain of 0.4 pounds. I expected this and it really isn't  too bad or out of the norm for my body to fluctuate this much off and on. I had eaten a ton yesterday compared to normal, so I was almost expecting a bigger gain. Thankfully that didn't happen so hopefully it'll continue to go down! I would love to be in the lower 140's or upper 130's by the time my birthday rolls around on August 22nd. Wishful thinking? It's my 21st and I want to look great! Unfortunately I can't control the rate at which my body grudgingly relinquishes each and every pound, haha.

Today was very busy, I worked really hard with my family on our old house trying to get all of the junk in the storage closets/bathroom drawers/miscellaneous stuff that didn't make the cut during the initial move out in the open so that we can evaluate what we want to do with it. It's one big mess and doesn't even look like we got much done today, even though we all worked on it for a long time. Being at another location made it difficult to fit food in, but I had some low-sodium turkey lunch meat for lunch and a steak cooked without the sauces and butter at a restaurant afterwards. I was quite moody from being exhausted and hungry and only being able to have the meat while I watched everyone else enjoy huge platters of their various orders, but after eating I felt satisfied and not overly full which was nice. It kind of evened out my mood a little and allowed me to just sit and enjoy the company of the people I was with, rather than stare at their plates enviously. I always feel bad for the poor waiter/waitress though, they're always so confused when I even refuse vegetables! Unfortunately today was a protein only day. I really need to get to a restaurant when I can eat veggies too!

Completely off diet topic: another aspect affecting my mood is comparing myself to my brother I suppose. He has always been the "bright star" of the family and I grew up in his shadow. He is about 3 years older than me and because of that he has always been about a level ahead of me as far as where he's at in life. He always beats me to these big events  (High school graduation, college graduation, first big job, etc.) and then by the time I get around to them it's kind of like old news in my family. For example, he just graduated the same University I'm going to with two degrees: one in Electrical Engineering, and the other in Computer Science. I consider these pretty major and impressive degrees and he's very good at what he does. Anyway, he got this highly competitive six month internship at Intel and they liked him so much that they hired him full time and offered to pay his way through his Master's Degree. I'm extremely proud of him and think it's awesome that everything he does seems to go his way, I just wish I didn't feel like I can't compare to that. My grandparents were in town today to help out and all they were asking about is how he's doing, what his job is like, and how cool all of that stuff is instead of asking what I'm up to in my degree. All I can boast about is how I got A's last term.  Oh well, I'll catch up eventually. This pity party needs to be over!

Tomorrow is another day.

<3